Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she
wanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love
with her. "How could you begin?" said she. "I can comprehend
your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning;
but what could set you off in the first place?"
"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the
words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was
in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
"My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners—my
behaviour to you was at least always bordering on
the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing
to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me
for my impertinence?"
"For the liveliness of your mind, I did."
"You may as well call it impertinence at once. It was very
little less. The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of
deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with
the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking
for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested
you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been
really amiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite
of the pains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were
always noble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised
the persons who so assiduously courted you. There—I have
saved you the trouble of accounting for it; and really, all
things considered, I begin to think it perfectly reasonable.
To be sure, you knew no actual good of me—but nobody
thinks of that when they fall in love. "Was there
no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane while she was
ill at Netherfield?"
"Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? But make
a virtue of it by all means. My good qualities are under your
protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible;
and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasions for teazing
and quarrelling with you as often as may be; and I shall begin
directly by asking you what made you so unwilling to come to
the point at last. What made you so shy of me, when you first
called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when you
called, did you look as if you did not care about me?"
"Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement."
"But I was embarrassed."
"And so was I."
"You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner."
"A man who had felt less, might."
"How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give,
and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it! But I wonder
how long you would have gone on, if you had been left
to yourself. I wonder when you would have spoken,
if I had not asked you! My resolution of thanking you for your
kindness to Lydia had certainly great effect. Too much,
I am afraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort
springs from a breach of promise? for I ought not to have mentioned
the subject. This will never do."
"You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectly
fair. Lady Catherine's unjustifiable endeavours to separate
us were the means of removing all my doubts. I am not indebted
for my present happiness to your eager desire of expressing
your gratitude. I was not in a humour to wait for any opening
of your's. My aunt's intelligence had given me hope, and I
was determined at once to know every thing."
"Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to make
her happy, for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what did
you come down to Netherfield for? Was it merely to ride to
Longbourn and be embarrassed? or had you intended any more
serious consequence?"
"My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if
I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me. My
avowed one, or what I avowed to myself, was to see whether
your sister were still partial to Bingley, and if she were,
to make the confession to him which I have since made."
"Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherine
what is to befall her?"
"I am more likely to want more time than courage, Elizabeth.
But it ought to done, and if you will give me a sheet of paper,
it shall be done directly."
"And if I had not a letter to write myself, I might sit by
you and admire the eveness of your writing, as another young
lady once did. But I have an aunt, too, who must not be longer
neglected."
From an unwillingness to confess how much her intimacy with
Mr. Darcy had been over-rated, Elizabeth had never yet answered
Mrs. Gardiner's long letter; but now, having that to
communicate which she knew would be most welcome, she was almost
ashamed to find that her uncle and aunt had already lost three
days of happiness, and immediately wrote as follows:
"I would have thanked you before, my dear aunt, as
I ought to have done, for your long, kind, satisfactory, detail
of particulars; but to say the truth, I was too cross to write.
You supposed more than really existed. But now suppose
as much as you choose; give a loose to your fancy, indulge your
imagination in every possible flight which the subject will
afford, and unless you believe me actually married, you cannot
greatly err. You must write again very soon, and praise him
a great deal more than you did in your last. I thank you, again
and again, for not going to the Lakes. How could I be so silly
as to wish it! Your idea of the ponies is delightful. We will
go round the Park every day. I am the happiest creature in
the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not
one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only
smiles, I laugh. Mr. Darcy sends you all the love in the world
that he can spare from me. You are all to come to Pemberley
at Christmas. Your's, &c."
Mr. Darcy's letter to Lady Catherine was in a different style;
and still different from either was what Mr. Bennet sent to
Mr. Collins, in reply to his last.
"Dear Sir,
I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth
will soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherine
as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by
the nephew. He has more to give.
Your's sincerely, &c."
Miss Bingley's congratulations to her brother, on his approaching
marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere. She
wrote even to Jane on the occasion, to express her delight,
and repeat all her former professions of regard. Jane was not
deceived, but she was affected; and though feeling no reliance
on her, could not help writing her a much kinder answer than
she knew was deserved.
The joy which Miss Darcy expressed on receiving similar information,
was as sincere as her brother's in sending it. Four sides of
paper were insufficient to contain all her delight, and all
her earnest desire of being loved by her sister.
Before any answer could arrive from Mr. Collins, or any congratulations
to Elizabeth from his wife, the Longbourn family heard that
the Collinses were come themselves to Lucas lodge. The reason
of this sudden removal was soon evident. Lady Catherine had
been rendered so exceedingly angry by the contents of her nephew's
letter, that Charlotte, really rejoicing in the match, was
anxious to get away till the storm was blown over. At such
a moment, the arrival of her friend was a sincere pleasure
to Elizabeth, though in the course of their meetings she must
sometimes think the pleasure dearly bought, when she saw Mr.
Darcy exposed to all the parading and obsequious civility of
her husband. He bore it, however, with admirable calmness.
He could even listen to Sir William Lucas, when he complimented
him on carrying away the brightest jewel of the country, and
expressed his hopes of their all meeting frequently at St.
James's, with very decent composure. If he did shrug his shoulders,
it was not till Sir William was out of sight.
Mrs. Philips's vulgarity was another, and perhaps a greater,
tax on his forbearance; and though Mrs. Philips, as well as
her sister, stood in too much awe of him to speak with the
familiarity which Bingley's good humour encouraged, yet, whenever
she did speak, she must be vulgar. Nor was her respect
for him, though it made her more quiet, at all likely to make
her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she could to shield him
from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to
keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he
might converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable
feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship
much of its pleasure, it added to the hope of the future; and
she looked forward with delight to the time when they should
be removed from society so little pleasing to either, to all
the comfort and elegance of their family party at Pemberley. |